The Melancholy of Iggy Koopa
by FairHairedAdventureSeeker
Summary: Iggy Koopa is competing in a Mario Kart Tornament and he is very excited!-According to others. Slowly figure out what he is really thinking about. Rated T for strong language.


A/N I'm writing on moble so please bear with me...

-Iggy POV-

It's the day I will do it! I'll prove them wrong today! I will WIN this Mario Kart tourny!- Is what I would like to say. But I would be lying if I said that. I really couldn't give a rats ass about this. It's just fun kicking everybody's ass. I know Peach didn't want to invite me. But it would be terribly rude if she didn't! I was listening in on a conversation she had with Mario. She called me "crazy, strange, and insane". I know my siblings think the same exact thing. They are all such fucking brats! I will strangle them all in their sleep someday. Except for Lemmy. He is okay when he isn't hopping around on that stupid ball of his.

Anyway, back to the point. I'm at the yearly Mario Kart Tournement, waiting in the bleachers. My awesome new bike is being pulled out of the garage onto the track. I chose a sport bike with orange monster wheels and the flying squirrell glider. Pretty sick right? The course is pretty. To other people. Personaly, I think it has really boring scenery. The course has pink cherry blossem trees and a ramp you can use your glider on to fly across a river. It has a name but I never botherd to learn it for one reason: I don't care.

Ludwig walked up to me. Great.

"Hey Iggy. You ready? I'm so pumped! Sorry, but I think I'm just going to leave you behind in the dust with all the babies. You scared? Close your stupid mouth for once. Your mouth breathing is annoying."

He was going to say something else but I cut him off.

"Wanna hear a joke Ludwig?"

"What is it, Carrot Top?"

"Your future."

It took a minute for him to get it, but when he did he huffed, turned on his heel, and stomped away. Don't insult my mouth breathing Luddy. Suddenly, I started laughing. A loud, high-pitched giggle that would make a soprano opera singer cringe.

"HEHEHEHEHEHEHE!"

Everybody in the bleachers stared with the exception of Lemmy, who was sitting a few rows behind me, and Rosalina. Princess Rosalina was a bit odd. And that is coming from me. She was sitting a few feet from me and did not respond to me at all. She might be the only person here that has yet to insult me. I guess I don't hate her.

King Bowser, AKA Dad, hits my head. Hard.

"Get your head checked idiot! This is a damn public place! Stop giggling like a fucking child!" he hisses in my ear

"Oh I need my head checked do I? I'm not the one trying to kidnap people everyday." I say cooly

That is my stratigy with others. They take a crack at me, I do anything possible to get them away from me and make them look bad. Especially Dad. I know I'm not normal in the head. He constantly reminds me of it. A toad blows a whistle, the signal for the racers to get on their karts.

I slouch over to my bike. It's parked in place 7. I expected I would be in the 12th spot since everybody seems to hate me. Guess the toad organizing this didn't get the memo. The clock ticks down and the toads in the bleachers start to roar.

"THREE! TWO! ONE!" they shout

I take off with a roar. I'm honestly not going to really try. If I get some shells, knock some people out and get a decent place, fine. If I lose, I'm not going to forget to sleep and stay up all night wondering whats wrong with me and this is why I can't get a girlfriend. Boo-hoo.

Just for reference, the racers are as follows: Mario, Peach, Baby Daisy, Luigi, Rosalina, Ludwig, Shy Guy, Me, Bower, Baby Mario, Wendy, Toad, and Roy.

I overtake Shy Guy and Ludwig and I was drifting around a corner when I saw it.

A dead animal. A squirrell most likely.

That is it! I want this race to be done with so I can go play with that damn dead thing! I hit an item box and get 3 red shells. I hit Rosalina with one and quickly pass her. Sorry lady. I hit Lugi and Baby Daisy with the other two and also pass them. I don't overtake Mario and Peach untill the second lap where I push Peach off the road and manage to snipe Mario with a green shell. It was pretty smooth sailing for the rest of the race.

I cross the finish line and hop off my bike. A toad grabs my arm and lifts it into the air to signify my 1st place win. The cheering is very quiet.

I rip my arm away from the toads hand and so a strange slouch-run thing over to where I saw the animal. I brake a branch off a tree. I poke it with the stick.

"Yep. Definetly dead."

Then I realize something.

I won the race.

Only the last 2 people get cut out.

I don't get to play with this dead piece of bloody fur. I have to continue for the next few races.

Dammit.


End file.
